What do you do when someone is dying?

My uncle is in the hospital with heart failure %26amp; many other health problems. His chances of survival are not good and he (as well as our family) is aware that his days may be numbered. He's called an attorney into his hospital room to update his will so he is realistic about his odds. He is 9 hours away so I cannot get to see him quickly. However, I want to do something nice for him and his wife. I am already sending him a "thinking of you/praying for you card" but want to do something more. It's just difficult to think of anything. Since he is in a hospital, he's on a strict diet, so I can't send a food basket or any other kind of edible treat. He's a very "man's man" so he would not appreciate flowers or balloons. I'm just stumped as to what I can do to let them know I care without making them feel like I'm trying to say "goodbye. I don't think you're going to make it". Any suggestions would be appreciated.

What do you do when someone is dying?
I have been in your situation few times, the most difficult was with my dad.


The only thing you can do is make sure they know you are thinking of them, by calling often, and letting them know you wish you could be there with them.


The best thing you could do if possible is go visit.


Tell your aunt to let you know if there is anything at all you can do for her.


Just make sure she knows that you are there for them, even if you cannot be there in person.
Reply:Family photos.
Reply:well, maybe get him one of his favorite movies or something...or if he likes to read you can get him one of those movies on CD, maybe some soothing music like jazz, crossword books, or anything like that but also let him know that you love him each and every day
Reply:being in a situation similar to you uncle, the best thing anyone's done for me is call me and talk to me. A friend from college called and we talked for ever about things we did in college. We talked about the fun stuff and some of the not so great things we'd done together. It was great to be reminded how great life had been. that stroll down memory lane was terrific!!! maybe just call him and talk about the good times you've had with him. Much more important than cookies or a fruit basket! talk to him and let him know that you have some great memories and that you appreciate him!
Reply:Amy your Uncle knows he's leaving..


Just talk to him about the wonderful things he's done with you..Let him know he's made a mark on your life.Let him know you'll be there for his wife..Your Aunt may have needs you could help with..Watering plants tending the yard ,or pets..Just be there strong...You know my Mom was out of it 8 hours before she past and I was alone with her in the room.I told her what a wonderful mom she had been and encouraged her to go on..Do what she needed to that we would be ok...They need that encouragement too..Good Luck..
Reply:call the hospital so u can talk on the phone or call your aunt it will make ethier one less depressed and pary as much as u can
Reply:two questions


has the family started to come together?


what is more important than the 9 hr trip to see your uncle?


if he is as bad as you say then you need to go to see him. do it and say the things you need to say to him. you will regret it if you dont. i know ive been there a lot in the past 3 years. some ive said my peace to some i havent. the ones i didnt say my peace to died and i will never have the opportunity to now. regret is a terrible thing.


what my grandfather liked was we sent donations in his name to the am heart association.
Reply:wow thats tough. maybe you should call them every once and a while just to see how he's doing. you dont have to buy a gift, calling shows a person that you care and are thinking about them. but if you wanna buy a present i suggest some type of electronic device, men always love those...





p.s. sorry about your uncle...
Reply:Try to find your strength.
Reply:I would call him. I would share some memories that I had with him and ask him to share some of his. You cal also ask him or those that are there if there is anything you can do for him. Also, you may want to see if you can get a plane ticket there to see him. I would also pray if you are a christan and let him know that you are praying and ask him what he would like you to pray for. I know this is such a hard time. Rely on God and your friends to help you through.
Reply:write him a letter fromt he heart even though hes a manly man he will appreciate it...


HOPE HE GETS BETTER!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
Reply:Honestly, if you could somehow make the trip to see him that would be the best thing to do.
Reply:Call him on the phone. Don't give him the sad talk you think you should give a dieing person. Just talk to him about stuff. Tell him you love him and wish him good luck. Tell him you are praying for him if that is the kind of thing you would normally tell him.
Reply:Call him once a day everyday to check on him. That would be the nicest thing you can do.
Reply:The best hting to do in your case is to let your uncle and his family knw that even though you cannot physically be there, you're THERE for them via phone, emails, prayers, thoughts, etc Call them on the ophone jsut to check in regularly and let them know where your thoughts are. It's sad because so many times the people we love and care abotu the most go outta this world not knowing how loved they truly were. My mom was one of those people. We lost her 2 years ago to NHL and had spent the last 4 months of her life in the hospital. The calls, visits, letters and stuff meant so much to us. Even sending a card with a prepaid phone card, gas card, walmart card,e tc is a really nice gesture as util youi're ina situtaion like this, don't realize how handy that extra money can come in for traveling expenses. Best of luck!
Reply:tell him how you feel. ask what you can do for him or for his family. phone calls are cheap these day's. he will understand that you can not drive there each day. he already knows that you love him. if he is in ICU they will not allow flowers or food and candy in the room anyway. have your church pray for him, as i am sure others are doing right now since you have told us about the need to do so. hope this helps you some.
Reply:Don't give up hope---in December I was RUSHED to the hospital--diagnosis--Congestive Heart Failure AND Pulmonary Hypertension... the doctors told my family I would not make it out of the hospital----well, it's June now and I'm not only out of the hospital, but I'm feeling pretty good most of the time---even though I still have BOTH illnesses and they are TERMINAL... doctors gave me 2 months to MAYBE 5 years---but my cardiologist doesn't think I'll make the 5 years... HOWEVER, since he didn't think I would make it out of the hospital, hopefully he is wrong in the other direction as well. I TOO took care of my final affairs and arrangements just after I got out of the hospital...it's STILL bad but.... Thing is, miracles DO happen---just like ME...but, let me tell you how APPRECIATIVE one is when they are a patient in the hospital and someone sends them FLOWERS.....even the most MACHO of men enjoy them and it lets them know someone is thinking about them....he probably has a TELEPHONE in his room, he might appreciate hearing encouraging words from YOU too...phone numbers are easy to get---you call the hospital and they tell you what room and you ask for a phone number for that room OR if no phone---the nurse station will get him to the phone as well... I had to take 2 calls at the nurse station from people who wanted to find out how I was... they finally put a phone in my room... as far as eating...... he is probably on the same type of diet I am on---LOW SALT, not too much water, low starches (pasta and bread, and rice) and low fat... a REALLY nice gift would be a bottle of something called NO SALT.... it tastes a LOT like salt but is NOT sodium ---my cardiologist said I could use that INSTEAD of salt... it helps...he would REALLY appreciate receiving a package of THAT because you can bet that the hospital is giving him no salt at ALL.......and food tastes pretty bad without salt if that is what you are used to.
Reply:Yeah I did this and the person survived. He apreciated it later:





My uncle was in the hospital. I wrote him a letter telling him all the things I loved and hated about him. I told him about why I loved him, and also about what really ticked me off about him.





I said it nicely so that he didn't think I was being a jerk.


I told him why he was such an important figure in my life, my childhood, and I told him at the end of the letter that he was my favorite uncle. Even though you are not supposed to say these things.





I could not say a word when I went to visit him because the letter said it all, but it also told him secret things that no one knew about my faults and what I am guilty for and why I wanted him to live.





Today I went to see my Uncle who's still alive years later and he hugged me.





He told me just last week that I was also his favorite, because I wrote the letter.